My Bank is Nothing Like This.

I've written about the inappropriate levels of customer service at my bank before in My Bank Doesn't Understand Customer Service. That time I didn't name them but there's no avoiding it this time.

The Commonwealth Bank of Australia has been running a TV ad campaign with the slogan Determined to be different. Their latest ad on high TV rotation I've embeded below. Take a moment to watch it as the rest of this article will be referencing the ad.

The first thing that struck me as odd was the Banking Concierge who meets you at the door?

The closest my bank has come to a Concierge is when I wrote previously about my banks Customer Service staff (see aforementioned article link above) accosting me with a "Hello, how are you? Just going to the Tellers are we?" greeting.

They didn't greet me at the door but kind of spoke to me from the Customer Service Desk before I could get past to the tellers. I can only imagine most people gave the same some what confused response I did at the time as this practice of greeting people who didn't actually approach the Customer Service Desk was dropped rather quickly.

Moving on to the main character of the commercial, Sara Kennedy, who is attempting to break the world record in triple bank transaction...what the? Let's imagine this was you or I.

We're greeted at the door by the bank concierge who assesses our needs, directing us to the banking consultant who can help us open a term deposit. He then escorts us to a free teller, as the other people in the bank go wild clapping at our progress (how many happy, smiley people have you ever seen queuing in a bank?).

At the teller we go for the 'unthinkable, a single transfer, double deposit with a triple cash back twist'... we'll get back to that in a moment... as the concierge now escorts us back down the main straight leading out of the bank, completing our banking in record time.

One can't help but think that all this could have been achieved faster without some fictional concierge getting between you and the Customer Service desk.

Not only that but how hard is banking anyway that the bank needs to hire a concierge just to 'assess your needs'. Isn't that what the customer service people and banking consultants are for? Who the hell is this extra guy escorting us around the bank in record time?

Have a look at the ad again and this time imagine the concierge is wearing a badge labeled 'Security'. Suddenly you see this ad in a whole new light. That guy is actually watching your every move to make sure you're not stealing the money! Think about it. He's looking over Sarah's shoulder every step of the way.

Back to that transaction. So just what the f**k is a single transfer, double deposit with a triple cash back twist? My guess is it's a transfer of money into your account from some other account, followed by two cash deposits... after that the triple cash back is a mystery. Did Sara get triple the money back that she deposited into her term deposit in cash? I've no idea? I should probably go ask that bank concierge - except he doesn't exist in my local branch?

This ad, as well as many of the other ads in the Commonwealth bank's latest ad campaign, which you can view in a playlist on the bank's Youtube channel, are meant to be a tongue in cheek. Unfortunately they fail because so much of what is described in many of them just doesn't happen as part of the real customer experience.

Take this video from the series titled 'Call You Back'...

It starts out all well and good but when, if ever, has not one but four Commonwealth Bank employees turned up unannounced at anyones house, for any reason ever, that wasn't related to a foreclosure on a house mortgage?

In essence this particular ad campaign reinforces the notion that banks live in 'bank world', which is a place where the customer experience is unlike anything you've ever experienced in a bank on this planet.

It almost feels like the Commonwealth Bank isn't targeting these brand ads at customers at all. It seems like they're intended to target other banks. The message? We're making so much profit we can actually advertise the kind of customer service we provide in bank world (rather than the real world) and real people will still bank with us.

The sad part is, they're probably right. As much as I complain about my bank it's just easier to stick with them than move. I've been with my bank for 24 years now. It's not even the bank that's keeping me there. It's everything else I have linked to my accounts. Were I to close my accounts I'd be making a small mountain of admin work for me to sift through. Who wants that?

I think my bank knows this too. That's why they're laughing at us, not with us, with this ridiculous branding campaign that has nothing at all to do with a great banking experience, great products or even spotlighting actual satisfied customers.

They're doing what banks do best when it comes to everything from interest rate rises to bank fees... they just make sh*t up and know the customer will just have to wear it.

Now where's my triple cash back twist?!

Comments

How to Transfer Any Line Art to Your Griptape - Easy Skateboard Griptape Art Tutorial

Dog Star Griptape Art by TET Griptape art is once again gaining popularity amongst modern skateboarders. For those of us who have tried to create our own griptape art, using paint pens, you'll know reproducing your design onto the grip, without making any mistakes is incredibly challenging. Mostly because you just have to go for it and draw the design freehand, with paint pens, directly onto the griptape. You can make the odd mistake here or there but if you get the proportions of the design completely wrong, it can be very difficult to fix. Often you just have to live with the mistake. To address the problem I've come up with an easy way anyone can transfer a line art design to their griptape, removing almost all the anxiety of getting the proportions wrong. In fact, you could do this with any line art design, even if you have no drawing skill at all. Watch the video below to see my technique in action and/or skip past the video where I highlight the basic steps to get your de

Skateboard Trick Tips: Two Ways to Ollie North (Ollie One foot)

You have to be quick to see my Ollie Norths! Ollie One Foots, otherwise known as the Ollie North, is one of those skateboard tricks you learn and then tend not to do very much as more interesting trick challenges grab your attention. However it does look really cool if you learn how to kick your front foot well past the nose of your skateboard. Still shot from Braille Skateboarding's Ollie North tutorial. I was inspired to make my video below, showing two different techniques to achieve a successful Ollie One Foot, when I not only saw that Braille Skateboarding's Tutorial used a different method to the one I had learned but also, when I looked at various other video tutorials, I discovered yet another technique, with no one using the method I had originally learned. Braille's method is to simply Ollie and drag your front foot past the front of your board. The second method I came across in several video tutorials is to Ollie, drag your front foot and tap your

Are Ion Thrusters the Future of Flying Cars? Spoiler - Probably Not But... Hover Boards... Maybe?

Undefined Technologies Ion Propulsion Drone prototype 3D concept image. You may have heard of Ion engines or, more likely, Ion thrusters. NASA uses them on their spacecraft to help maintain a craft's position or to propel them through space. Upon hearing that you might think they're big, powerful engines, but actually they are not. They work well in the vacuum of space but, once any kind of atmosphere and gravity is involved they'd be hard pressed to launch you off the ground if you strapped four of them to your lawn chair and yelled "up, up, and away!" I am no expert on Ion thrusters - they're basically magic that science has an explanation for. If you want to know the details, The Space Techie website has a layman's explanation . Build Your Own Ion Thruster Earth based Ion Thrusters work a bit different to their space based cousins by Ionizing the same air that we breathe to create thrust (an effect known as Ionic-wind ). While they sound highly soph

Book Review: Brand It Purple by Ashley Knoote-Parke

Ashley Knoote-Parke. Image: Facebook It seems almost redundant to review Brand It Purple given you probably won't find a hard copy edition without digging into the second hand market. The book's author and publisher, Ashley Knoote-Parke, seemingly, disappeared off the face of the Earth around about 2015. Which is a story in itself. However, the book is still a very informative guide and, while not specifically targeted at women, many may relate more to a book written by an experienced female entrepreneur. Brand It Purple is a personal marketing and branding guide released in 2009 by then, star on the rise author, Ashley Knoote-Parke, an English born, South African expatriate, who made Adelaide, South Australia her home. There she started her own publishing company releasing a photographic, coffee table book of South Australian sights, along with books showcasing female, then male, entrepreneurs. As well she published 'Brand It Purple'. I came across the b

I'm Joining the Illuminati Brotherhood By Personal Invitation of Hiltom Rothschild... Wait, What?

How special am I to have finally come of age (53 years young) and am now eligible to participate in building the world alongside other members of the Illuminati Brotherhood... Yes I've received the call by way of an email, which I'm sure is real because I had to translate it from the Dutch language and it was personally written by Hiltom Rothschild, one of the non-existent members of the Rothschild family (or perhaps deep undercover because Google has never heard of them?). A Transcript of the email below: To: etourist From: Illuminati Brotherhood Subject: Illuminati Broederschap (Illuminati Brotherhood) I am Hiltom Rothschild, a member of the Rothschild family, one of the 13 families of the Illuminati brotherhood. I'm here to let you know that you've come of age and are eligible to participate in building the 🌎 world. It is a calling and a privilege to honor him with pride and gratitude as not everyone will ever be chosen by the LIGHT, many are called but few are ch

Is AI Art 'Art'? The Say NO to AI Art Movement, and Why Human Artists Will Adapt

AI Art No T-Shirt by TET Also available on other items . Right now there is a big debate over not just whether AI art is 'art' but whether AI's are actually ripping off the work of actual human artists, without their consent, to create their images - particularly images 'in the style of' specific artists. From my own observations this debate started to get more traction when artist's signatures began appearing in the output of AI Art image generators. Is It Art? Cool Froyd the Cat Sketch by TET. My style is very much influenced by classic Disney and WB character styles. To get some clarity on how real human artists work (of which I am one)... we, that is all of us... take influences from the art that has come before. i.e. whatever artists we like, have studied, seen etc. we are influenced by. It shows up in our work, intentionally or not. If you really study my own cartoony art style you'll see I'm heavily influenced by early Disney and Warner Bros cart

Movie Review: Force of Nature - The Dry 2 (2024) No Spoilers

Eric Bana returns as Detective Aaron Falk in Force of Nature - The Dry 2 , and that's the only real connection between this and 2020's The Dry . This is an all new mystery set in a new location. I will say, given that it's either wet or rainy, with the incoming threat of a major storm for most of the movie, the filmmakers really missed a trick in not renaming the film, The Wet. Back when I reviewed the first film I noted that I would love to see the second book made into a movie too, and here it is. This time Aaron and his detective partner, Carmen (Jacqueline Mackenzie), head into the mountains to investigate the whereabouts of a missing informant, who disappears on a workplace, team bonding retreat. All the performances in this film are easily on par with the first, though I do think some pretty outstanding actors really didn't have a lot to do here. In terms of mystery the first movie was better constructed as a who dunnit film you could play along with. Here you mo

TET.Life (The Extraordinary Tourist Life)

Search This Blog