Robot Uprising Update: Technology Bringing Us Closer to the End.

Over the past month I've collected a few articles that I've been meaning to report on that clearly demonstrate the rise and rise of the machines which began with a rogue juicer, moved on to robot floor cleaners with internet access and their army of quadroters mounted with lasers.

The following things are all real and I'm sure if you attached lasers to any one of them the floor cleaning robots would put out the signal for your internet connect fridge to begin attacking our food source by turning up the thermostat. It's all part of the plan...

Magnetic Microbot

Micro Robot Builders

Apparently SRI International has invented micro magnetic robots that can build mini superstructures (think truss bridges etc.). These little puppies can move around anywhere a magnetic field can be created - even along curved circuits. Working in unison they can be program to perform tasks like a mini robot automated factory. Watch them in action in the video below.

Now your average robot fighting machine contains a lot of circuitry. Imagine a dose of these little fu... err... workers springing into action and making repairs on the fly. That's right machines that can repair themselves!

ASIMO

Honda's ASIMO is More Human...

ASMIO has been around for a while and is essentially one of the first proof of concept that a humanoid robot is physically possible. All that's needed is to give it proper Artificial Intelligence (AI) and a laser gun. It'll be hunting down humans for sport in no time!

The latest ASMIO robot moves more naturally than it's predecessors prompting some audience members (in another video of the same presentation) to question if it actually isn't just a tiny person in a robot suit. See him do a lot more things in the video below more autonomously than ever before.

Is anyone else concerned that his battery life is 40 minutes? That's more than enough time to get up to all kinds of world domination schemes.

And if a more human-like ASIMO wasn't scary enough now there's...

Pepper
(the one on the left!)

A Robot That Knows How You Feel

Softbank has created a robot that can read human emotions. I just know that if I owned one of these too cute, feel good robots it would be creepily saying "What are you doing Dave?" all HAL like as I fearfully reached for the off switch. The robot's name is 'Pepper'...

Pepper has a 'cloud' based AI (probably secretly controlled by internet connected floor cleaners), has a multitude of sensors and even has lasers built in. Fortunately the lasers aren't turned up to eleven and are non lethal (just waiting for the word from those floor cleaners) as part of Pepper's navigation system.

With a 12 hour battery life this robot will have plenty of time kill everyone with kindness as it tries to put a smile on your face and continues to wonder 'why so serious?'

The consumer
version of Jimmy

Print Your Own Robot Army

As 3D printers are ramping up to be the next big consumer item, robot floor cleaners everywhere are seeing a key part of robot domination fall into place. Intel is making it possible for you to 3D print your own robot.

21st Century Robot is the company behind the printable robot. You can see them demonstrate and talk about their first Robot 'Jimmy' in the video below. Jimmy is not the actual printable robot you will buy but he was 3D printed. They're working on a smaller consumer version that will retail for around US$1600.00.

Jimmy is very cool and he's completely open source as his smaller consumer cousin's will be. Making it all the more easy for those floor cleaners to install and program death ray lasers for their 3D printed army.

Robotic limbs
concept sketch

Fight Back with Robotic Limbs

Obviously MIT has realized the only way to fight back is to strap-on robotic limbs to people that augment their existing limbs. Currently these limbs aren't powered by the wearer's mind but hopefully there's still time.

So long as no one gets any bright ideas of connecting them to the internet where those floor cleaners will no doubt have them turn against the wearer we should be fine.

HEXO+... Ominous?

Autonomous Camera Drones

If you think the machines don't have a plan then how do you explain robot HEXO+ copter drones that autonomously can track and follow you everywhere, filming your every move... playing into our selfie filming fascination.

These drones can be programed from your phone. Once set up they require no further human interaction to film you running through the park, skateboarding or doing somersaults on your motorbike at the end of your driveway (who doesn't do that?).

That makes them a perfect candidate for those floor cleaners to seize control of these devices, attach lasers and start tracking and shooting everyone coming into view of the camera.

If seeing one of these HEXO+ drones chasing a person through the park isn't a glimpse of our robot attack prone future I don't know what is.

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TET.Life (The Extraordinary Tourist Life)

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