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The Female Orgasm Explained

The other night I was mindlessly watching whatever show happened to be on TV next when I was confronted with a French documentary titled The Female Orgasm Explained (Warning note: the previous link will take you to this fairly graphic and explicit documentary on Google Video). Naturally I had to watch to... to... um... learn something. The fact that they kept showing really old porn clips in no way influenced my decision to watch.

So this post isn't a review, it's commentary on what I learned. This could get quite graphic and possibly a little sexist. If talk about things below the waist and above the knees makes you run a mile out of earshot then now's the time to start running.

Most men already know women are complex beings. Especially when it comes to their um... 'bits'. The enlightened men amongst us know about the clitoris, G-spots and even know there's a difference between vaginal and clitoral orgasms.

Apparently, though, according to this documentary, women also have three other orgasmic spots besides the clitoris and the G-spot. Oh crap! As if things aren't complicated enough. It's about time all women came with a printed manual for what buttons to push. (Is there a button for 'make dinner'?).

The show put up a diagram showing where these three other 'spots' are supposed to be and as near as I can tell they're just making stuff up now. There is nothing actually there (well nothing to differentiate it from any other part of the vaginal wall) all of them are just kind 'zones' really. See the diagram on the right which comes from the show but with my own labels added.

Even a few women are skeptical about the existence of 'G' spots now we've got 'A' spots and other zones to find too?!

Men get a bum rap for their simplicity. Ever seen those joke remote controls you can buy for women and men? The woman's remote has something like fifty plus buttons on it whilst the man's remote has only three: Beer, Sex and Food. In my case, I don't drink beer so that reduces my remote by a button.

I think it's about time men made their 'bits'... umm... let me rephrase that, their 'tools' more complex with a few more labels and spots. I think we should go the whole way and have a whole alphabet of 'spots'. 'A' at the tip of the tool through to 'Z' at the base. We could then have a whole sliding scale of pleasure based on how far through the alphabet your partner gets.

Like men, it's a system that's totally logical and not really that hard to work out. At the very least it gives us something a bit more complex than an 'On/off' button.

Well it makes more sense than randomly naming zones that nobody can see let alone prove their existence.
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Comments

  1. AnonymousFebruary 02, 2009 3:46 AM

    ??? ha ha

    ReplyDelete
  2. ThesestarsNovember 01, 2011 12:06 PM

    Was here looking for your KoolMoves stuff and found this....you are so freakin' funny.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Erno NurmiMay 02, 2012 10:11 PM

    G spot of the girl is really hard to find specially when you licking it,And for me that is the good thing for them if they also know it because we all know that orgasm is really healthy for them.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousDecember 24, 2018 10:34 AM

    Believe it or not, the g-spot *is* the "make me dinner" button. You'll know you hit it correctly when dinner appears out of nowhere, often accompanied by dessert.

    ReplyDelete

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