Skip to main content

Feral Juicer Plots World Domination

Last night my partner, Enigma, informed me that she was going to start using the Juicer again. This morning I got to thinking that maybe this wasn't a good thing?

Although our juicer has been sitting quietly on the kitchen bench top, it hasn't been used in a long time. Perhaps it's turned feral?

Our juicer (pictured) is not to be messed with. It can juice whole apples, your fingers, hand, fore arm, elbow and... well you get the idea.

In all this time, it may have been sitting on the kitchen bench... waiting.

Waiting for the opportune moment when we plug it back in and the sudden surge of power goes straight to its motorized head! Ah ha... now it's connected back into the grid and its plan for world domination can begin!

Yeah, you might think those power cords your appliances use are harmless but there's technology out there that will hook you to the internet through your home's power grid.

How do I know our juicer is not going to communicate with an army of juicers, all waiting for that one command from their leader, to rise up and start the juicer machine uprising that finally wipes out the human race - and probably a few fruits and vegetables as well!

This reminds me of the time, a few years back, when Enigma asked me to keep an eye on the slow cook, electric stock pot as it quietly cooked our dinner whilst she was at work. I watched it all right! All through the day. I'm sure it would've put it's plan of attack into action if I hadn't stirred it occasionally as instructed!

See, you may think Armageddon is going to occur when the humanoid like robots rise up and destroy their creators but I know it's sooner than that. Why do we need internet connected fridges? It's not for our benefit. It's so the machines can communicate with each other. Secretly. While we're sleeping.

That's why most appliances in your lounge room have a 'Stand by' mode instead of turning off completely. Who knows what they're standing by for but I'm willing to bet it isn't good.

It's perfectly possible the human race's demise all starts with a juicer. Our juicer.

Maybe my partner should leave it unplugged, permanently. Just in case?

Comments

  1. I have similar things on my bench top ie: a toaster, and a Health Smart non-stick grill, which gets used every now and again, and the toaster, but not kept plugged in.

    The grill cooks steak great, much better than the gas grill, but it's just a matter of being able to be bothered wiping it afterwards after scraping it with the plastic scraper provided before it cools. (my gas grill pan is all lined with foil, so no washing up)

    The toaster, well it's much easier to just use the gas grill, as I open the bottom of my toaster to wipe the crumbs out.

    I have a sandwich toaster in the cupboard, which might get an airing, when I remember! Any melted cheese etc comes off quite easily actually when it's cooled.

    I have one or two other appliances not even used yet, bought as gifts,ie: electric knife (I buy a small, boneless joint once in a blue moon!) egg boiler/vegie/omelette cooker for up to 7 eggs, lurking in the cupboard, waiting to come into their own!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Forgot to say - those 'stand by' appliances are all eating up extra electricity, which all adds up!

    ReplyDelete
  3. But are they just eating up extra electricity... I think not! They're plotting to start a machine led uprising of neglected appliances in your home by communicating with each other through their power cables. Better unplug everything just to be sure!! LOL

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

* Thanks to constant spam comments by a Casino Marketing Moron who won't get the message that spam comments WILL be deleted ALL comments will be moderated and only cool, on topic comments will be approved.

Comments not directly related to the post will be deleted. This includes spammy generic comments with links to websites not related to the post.

Buy Gifts and Apparel featuring art by TET.

Popular posts from this blog

How to Transfer Any Line Art to Your Griptape - Easy Skateboard Griptape Art Tutorial

Dog Star Griptape Art by TET Griptape art is once again gaining popularity amongst modern skateboarders. For those of us who have tried to create our own griptape art, using paint pens, you'll know reproducing your design onto the grip, without making any mistakes is incredibly challenging. Mostly because you just have to go for it and draw the design freehand, with paint pens, directly onto the griptape. You can make the odd mistake here or there but if you get the proportions of the design completely wrong, it can be very difficult to fix. Often you just have to live with the mistake. To address the problem I've come up with an easy way anyone can transfer a line art design to their griptape, removing almost all the anxiety of getting the proportions wrong. In fact, you could do this with any line art design, even if you have no drawing skill at all. Watch the video below to see my technique in action and/or skip past the video where I highlight the basic steps to get your de

Skateboard Trick Tips: Two Ways to Ollie North (Ollie One foot)

You have to be quick to see my Ollie Norths! Ollie One Foots, otherwise known as the Ollie North, is one of those skateboard tricks you learn and then tend not to do very much as more interesting trick challenges grab your attention. However it does look really cool if you learn how to kick your front foot well past the nose of your skateboard. Still shot from Braille Skateboarding's Ollie North tutorial. I was inspired to make my video below, showing two different techniques to achieve a successful Ollie One Foot, when I not only saw that Braille Skateboarding's Tutorial used a different method to the one I had learned but also, when I looked at various other video tutorials, I discovered yet another technique, with no one using the method I had originally learned. Braille's method is to simply Ollie and drag your front foot past the front of your board. The second method I came across in several video tutorials is to Ollie, drag your front foot and tap your

Revisiting My Redbubble Online Store - Here is Your New T-Shirt, Hoodie, Sticker, Phone Case etc.

Unisex T-shirt Skateboard Monkey. More info . Redbubble is an Australian, Print On Demand website that was founded in Melbourne, back in 2006, and has become a global choice for independent artists worldwide to sell prints of their work. I've had an online store with Redbubble pretty much since they launched. For the most part I limited the art I posted on Redbubble to my, popular for a second, whimsical, cat artworks. It has been quite a few years since I've painted any cats, and the followers I had for them have certainly thinned out. I was going to shut down my Redbubble account to focus on my Cafepress online store but Redbubble just has better quality prints all round at very affordable prices.

Book Review: Skateboarding Made Simple Vol. 1 by Aaron Kyro

It's been almost a year since I last wrote about my not so successful attempts at getting back to something that resembles my peak skateboarding abilities of the mid 1990's. I can say I've improved a bit but my confidence level is still pretty low. However my confidence has started to improve since I purchased Skateboarding Made Simple Vol 1: Master the basics of Skateboarding by Aaron Kyro.

A.I. Can Now Create Art Based Upon Text Prompts - DALL-E 2 and CrAIyon (Formerly DALL-E Mini)

"a painting of a fox sitting in a field at sunrise in the style of Claude Monet” Image by DALL-E 2, OpenAI.com One thing people have often said is that machines will never replace creative artists because they lack the imagination and emotion required to create anything meaningful. A.I. technology is now good enough to work as writing assistants, including sites like Jasper and Rytr , where you simply tell the A.I. what you want to write about and it'll produce a complete article on that subject. The article may not be perfect but it can sure save you a lot of time. DALL-E 2: Realistic images and art from a description in natural language. With the release of DALL-E 2 there is now an A.I. that can produce realistic (or artistically styled) images based entirely on text prompts in seconds. We're not just talking about collaging a few images together here either. DALL-E 2 can create images where everything looks fairly seamless and purposefully included. Rather than me try

Checking in on Tesla's Optimus Robot - Managing Expectations

Last year Elon Musk announced at the first Tesla AI day the Tesla Bot, which has since been renamed the Tesla Optimus, that is basically a general purpose humanoid robot assistant with human like appearance and proportions. Elon expected they would have a working prototype by the end of 2022. While very little has been released about the project since, in June Elon took to Twitter to announce that they would delay this year's Tesla AI day until September 30 in anticipation of having a working prototype of the robot by that time. Elon Musk announces the Tesla Bot at the 2021 Tesla AI day. When I initially wrote about the Tesla Bot I noted that both Boston Dynamics and Disney Imagineering are developing robot technologies that demonstrate a streamlined, humanoid robot like Optimus is certainly possible. However with precious few details, and the occasional appearance of static, concept manikins of Tesla Optimus bots at places like the Cyber Rodeo Gigafactory Austin, Texas  (see vi

Rock'n'Rolls and My Driveway Skateboard Ramp Building tips

TET Rock'n'Roll attempt on a driveway quarter pipe. Whenever we have a fine sunny day during Winter in Australia I always try to take advantage of it by getting in some skateboarding, even if it's only in the driveway (not that I really skate anywhere else at the moment). In this driveway skateboard session video I didn't really have a plan for what I wanted to try so I started out by revisiting manuals on the world's smallest manual pad. From there I felt like skating my small quarter pipe, which I don't skate often on account of not being able to do anything on it beyond drop-ins and BS 50-50 stalls. However I do kind of feel Rock'n'Rolls are the trick I'm most likely to relearn next so today was the day to give them a real go. As I explain in the video I don't like people who half ass Rock'n'rolls by tapping the middle of the deck on the coping and turning back in. The trick looks super cool when done right with the back trucks pushed