What If Being Yourself Isn't Good Enough?

One of my most personal public videos is a collection of outtakes edited together with my narration, read word for word, from my blog post written back on August 5th, 2007 titled Is Being Me Good Enough? I made the similarly titled video the next day.

At the time the video (which you can view below) generated some discussion in the comments and was a real turning point for me personally in how I thought about myself and how I presented on camera. It took a weight off my shoulders.

[Note that especially for this article I've re-edited and re-uploaded the video to Youtube because the last sentence on the original version was cut off by Youtube's uploader. The new version is identical other than I've added a title screen at the beginning and cropped the footage for 16:9 ratio - plus added some length to the end to ensure it doesn't get the last line cut again.]

I came to be thinking about this video again because of my latest video diaries - which I will be the first to admit aren't that visually exciting. Particularly if the majority of the video is just me speaking to camera.

I started broadcasting on Youtube back in 2006 and whilst I'm much more comfortable with speaking to a camera, even today, I'm still pretty much the same as I was back then. Albeit probably a little less self conscious than I used to be. Which reinforces the point I was trying to make back then that you really are getting me as I actually am. I don't put on a persona for the camera.

Unfortunately being myself still leaves me wide open to criticism from both well meaning people offering advice to straight up idiots that will tear anything down that doesn't fit with how they think things ought to be.

Many of my contemporaries on Youtube have gone on to have thousands of fans whilst I'm still only just half way to my first 1000 fans. My videos do get views over time but nobody is rushing to watch them as soon as they are released.

Unlike on GoAnimate, with Youtube I commit the cardinal sin of releasing boring videos. Though I'm not wondering why very few people are watching, nor am I deluding myself that my videos are well crafted greatness - and people just can't see it.

Generally, being myself on Youtube isn't good enough - at least not to build an audience that will keep coming back to see my latest video. I don't blame people either. I wouldn't come back to keep watching the videos I make for Youtube.

The problem is that I really haven't found that one thing that I'm excited to make videos about. My diaries I make just to try and get making regular videos back into my routine. However that strategy is failing because I'm not excited to make them - and it shows on camera.

The one thing I know is that I do want to make Youtube videos. I'd be really open to suggestions on where I should go with my Youtube videos from anyone reading this that's familiar with what I do.

What do you think I should explore with my videos?

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TET.Life (The Extraordinary Tourist Life)

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