Skip to main content

Movie Review: Hellboy: The Crooked Man (2024) *No Spoilers*

Hellboy: The Crooked Man Poster


I would not call myself a comic book fan of Hellboy. I've never read a single comic about him.

My sum total knowledge of the character comes from the first two live action films, Hellboy (2004) and Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008), staring Ron Pearlman in the titular role. Essentially I'm a fan of those two films. Particularly Ron's portrayal of the character.

I've been wanting to see the two later reboot attempts, in particular, David Harbor's run at the character in, Hellboy (2019), but reviews suggested I'd be disappointed if I spent any extra on them beyond a streaming service subscription.

I missed David's Hellboy when it was on streaming, and currently I think you can only rent or buy it.

However, Hellboy: The Crooked Man (2024) surfaced, at no extra cost on Amazon Prime, so I decided to give it a go.

The poster says it's the fourth installment in the franchise, so I guess these films are loosely set in the same continuity and are all the same Hellboy, even though the dates and times are different?

This particular installment is set in the 1950's. Hellboy (Jack Kesy) and rookie B.P.R.D. agent, Bobbie Jo Song (Adeline Rudolph) are sent to the Appalachians, where they discover a remote community dominated by witches and led by the sinister local demon, the Crooked Man.

The movie definitely started out with potential with a very action packed opening train sequence that, despite some odd but necessary exposition from the guy sent to make sure the cargo he, Hellboy, and Bobbie are travelling with makes it to its destination (he doesn't know what the cargo is and... Hellboy? What's he actually going to do if Hellboy goes rogue?). I liked this sequence a lot.

It was all downhill from there though. It's like they blew the budget on the opening sequence. Which wouldn't surprise me, it's a great opening sequence.

The rest of the film is, what I imagine to be all standard horror movie, walk through the woods, fare. I don't know, I'm not a horror movie person really. There's no real character development, and everyone who sees Hellboy for the first time acts like they see a big red demon like man every other Tuesday.

Admittedly Hellboy is probably the least weird thing they've seen that week given their community is dominated by witches and a demon but still... it's the 1950s. You'd think he'd have some impact upon first sighting.

Honestly, I was bored by the halfway point. I only managed to get through the film by doom scrolling on my phone during the slow bits.

Maybe if I had given it my full attention I would've had a jump scare or two, or even had some kind of clue as to which one of the supporting cast was actually 'The Crooked Man'. I looked that up on IMDB just now. I don't recall seeing that actor (Martin Bassindale) in the film. I guess he must've been under a lot of make up?

I don't know about you, but I was expecting a Hellboy movie to be a story about Hellboy. It's not that. Or if it is, I completely missed it. Jack Kesy's Hellboy isn't even on screen much of the time. When he is, it's mostly for fight scenes. We never really learn much about him, why he's here, or anything. It's just another day at the office really.

I've read that this movie is more comic book accurate, and is the only one of the four live action films to give the character's creator, Mike Mignola, a writing credit. I've also heard Mike wasn't particularly happy with some of the choices made in previous films... I hope he was happier here because I couldn't be less interested in seeing Jack Kesy's Hellboy again.

Which is not to say Jack was bad. Not at all. This movie just didn't do anything to get me invested in his character. You could easily have replaced him with any generic big guy with some resistance to supernatural powers.

You may like this if you're a fan of the comic. You're less likely to like this if you're a fan of the Ron Perlman films, which are more watchable, and definitely try to give Hellboy a little more depth.

Comments

Buy Gifts and Apparel featuring art by TET.

Popular posts from this blog

Movie Review: Superman (2025) *No Spoilers*

T he one thing I like about James Gunn as a comic book movie director is that he leans into the comic book nature of the world and the characters.  He's not trying to do a realistic take on any of the characters. He's simply bringing the comics to life. It's still his take on the characters, but he doesn't shy away from their comic book origins. James Gunn's  Superman  is very much a comic book movie in every sense. Nothing is off the table because it's too 'comic-booky' and might look silly in a live action film.  To me that's incredibly liberating. It lets James actually tell a proper Superman story that isn't hamstrung by reality, or tip toeing into the fantastical just enough to allow Superman to exist in the real world. Superman begins in the middle of a battle. Metropolis is under attack by a super powered being known as 'Hammer of Boravia', however everything is not as it seems, and Superman (David Corenswet) must work with other s...

James Gunn's Social Media Monkeys Joke Was a Highlight of His Superman Movie For Me

B efore James Gunn's Superman Movie was released there was a whole rumor going around that the movie would feature monkeys on computers trolling Superman's social media, sparking much outrage. #supersh*t. I didn't know this was even a thing until just prior to writing this article. I did a search to see if anyone had posted a clip of the monkeys scene from the movie and got pages of discourse featuring videos and articles prior to the film. Most of it from Gunn detractors (let's say) seeing it as some kind of childish swipe at them... well not them specifically but, you know, those other people who have every right to hate on anything sight unseen. Anyway, I'm not going to give even one such example a link or air because it's kind of sad watching someone devote so much commentary to a throw away gag that is absolutely a nod to James Gunn's Superman trolls.  The whole reason this post exists, is to say I loved the joke, because fourteen years ago, and I...

I'm Confused About Why People Prefer to Say Discombobulated?

D iscombobulated. Is a word that I think someone rediscovered about three or four years ago (maybe more because the pandemic years have thrown out my sense of time) and now I hear it a lot. It's not a new word by any means, but when I started hearing multiple celebrities using it in everyday sentences, I actively had to look up what it meant. Define it with as many synonyms as you like but essentially it's just another word meaning 'confused'. Seinfeld Quotes: Quotes.net The words are pretty much interchangeable. He was discombobulated by too many choices. He was confused by too many choices.  My confusion is the length of the word. It's unnecessarily long with too many syllables. There are many other words that mean confused, and therefore also mean discombobulated. Most of them are shorter and easier to say. So why not just say 'confused'? Perhaps discombobulated sounds more intelligent, maybe?  Hawaii Five-0 Quotes: Quotes.net I've noticed it gets us...

Movie Review: A Complete Unknown (2024) *No Spoilers*

Y ou would think the Bob Dylan story would be 'wind-swept and interesting,' to quote Billy Connelly, however, despite  A Complete Unknown  being quite an engaging film, it feels like it missed the years that really shaped him as a song writer/performer. The film starts in 1961, with a then unknown, 19-year-old Bob Dylan (Timothée Chalamet) arriving in New York City with his guitar.  From there he forges relationships with musical icons on his meteoric rise, culminating in a groundbreaking performance that reverberates around the world. The problem being, according to this film, Dylan arrived in New York, for the most part, fully formed as a folk singer/song writer. In virtually no time he makes a very important connection that puts him on the trajectory of doing the work and becoming a name, before making his world changing performance. While there is some drama behind the scenes with his various relationships, none of it is particularly unique to any number of up and com...

I'm Joining the Illuminati Brotherhood By Personal Invitation of Hiltom Rothschild... Wait, What?

How special am I to have finally come of age (53 years young) and am now eligible to participate in building the world alongside other members of the Illuminati Brotherhood... Yes I've received the call by way of an email, which I'm sure is real because I had to translate it from the Dutch language and it was personally written by Hiltom Rothschild, one of the non-existent members of the Rothschild family (or perhaps deep undercover because Google has never heard of them?). A Transcript of the email below: To: etourist From: Illuminati Brotherhood  Subject: Illuminati Broederschap (Illuminati Brotherhood) I am Hiltom Rothschild, a member of the Rothschild family, one of the 13 families of the Illuminati brotherhood. I'm here to let you know that you've come of age and are eligible to participate in building the 🌎 world. It is a calling and a privilege to honor him with pride and gratitude as not everyone will ever be chosen by the LIGHT, many are called but few are ch...

Australian Federal Election 2025 - World's Most Boring Government Re-elected by Landside - We're Even More Fine!

Anthony Albanese Victory by ChatGPT and TET. W hen I started writing about the 2025 Federal election the polls were suggesting the world's most boring government was crusing to a defeat . As it turns out, boring is good, and Australia wants more of it, handing the current government a landslide win with a majority vote. Anthony Albanese became the first PM since John Howard to win a consecutive term, and the first Labor PM since Bob Hawke to do so. Some of that comes down to the leadership revolving door both major parties had through the mid 2000s. Although Anthony is my preferred PM over Dutton the irony is Dutton sounds more like a leader with a fairly commanding voice and an ability to speak well, without sounding like he's waffling and dodging questions, even if he is. Anthony, on the other hand, does have the ability (and speech writer) to say a lot of inspiring things but it gets lost in the delivery. He doesn't seem to know when to emphasise a point for effect. In h...

Second Sunday Skateboard Session Episode 9, and 10 - Shuv-it Revelation and Did I Improve?

T he final two episodes of my ten part YouTube series documenting my process of learning the first seven basic skateboard tricks from Braille Skateboarding's, Skateboarding Made Simple. These are the links to  Episode One ,  Episode Two ,  Three to Five , and Six to Eight , should you feel the need to see where I started or you want a bit more background on my personal skateboarding journey that began in 1988. I won't ramble on in this final introduction to my last two sessions, other that to say, episode ten is the highlight in terms of getting a direct comparison from episode 1 with side by side footage. Episode 9 - Frontside Pop Shuv-it Revelation The only episode not filmed on the second Sunday, thankfully due to the weather raining Sunday out and not my lack of willingness to continue. Monday was also very rainy but I managed to fit my session in during a small window of no rain late in the day. It was a little bit of a difficult session in that I could only uti...