Roary the Racing Car is Evil

Well okay maybe the lovable little red racing car, that has his own TV show, Roary the Racing Car, isn't evil but I do suspect he's into brain washing. Subliminally teaching everyone his life lessons.

How else do you explain a fully grown adult, namely me, waking up in the morning from a dream about Roary? Before your mind begins to wander, it's nothing even remotely perverse (or maybe it is, depending on how you look at things), my dream was simply playing out like a typical episode of Roary the Racing Car.

Perhaps we should back up a bit. In your best 'Big Chris' voice say "Come on Roary!"

This all starts because I do my daily work out routine watching Judge Judy. Exercise is as boring as hell (oh dear, coarse language) so I watch TV whilst I go through my routine. At 3pm the most intelligent show on the box is, you guessed it, Judge Judy.

Her show is only 30 minutes long and my routine is an hour so at 3:30pm I need something else to watch.

Channel flipping (keeping in mind I only have four channels available on my studio TV), Huey's Cooking Adventures just doesn't cut it for me. Sorry Huey, watching you cook is like dialing for pizza that never comes. The dialing isn't the best part of a pizza. Watching someone cook isn't the best part of eating food.

Hi5 is no good either. No matter how good those five teens look (if in fact they are teens?) they still make me want to stab my eyes out with a pencil!

Then there's some New Zealand, Time Travel, Sci-Fi series, Time Trackers, featuring obnoxious teens running everything. It's badly acted, with naff special effects and manages to make Hi5 look like top notch TV. (Maybe I'm being harsh? It's just that I like time travel as basis for a TV show but, from the ten minutes I tried to watch, the kids made me want to stab my eyes out with a pencil!).

This leaves Roary the Racing car followed by several other short format kids shows, such as Maisy, Curious George, Pepper Pig and The Mr Men Show. What is the world coming to when Roary is the most intelligent thing on TV?

The trouble with Roary is his show has a catchy theme tune. Not surprising when you consider this show is from the same studio that gave us Bob the Builder ...can we fix it! Roary's theme tune may well hit the under age dance floors yet. If it hasn't already. It's been stuck in my head ever since I woke up from this dream.

If you're into dream analysis then my dream had Roary looking for some flash, bent (or maybe hook like) gold key. He was racing about everywhere looking for it... I don't know much more than that so here's a burning question I have about the show...

What is the deal with the out of control racing action on almost every episode? All the cars drive like maniacs - even for race cars. Seriously. The only time I've ever seen a formula one style race car jump three to five feet in the air during a race was when it was crashing! For all the shows moral preaching and life lessons what is it teaching the kids about driving?

"Come on Roary! Faster son and don't slow down for the bends!"

That's enough from me. Hopefully all this blogging about Roary will have exorcised him from my head. I think he is evil. If only just a little.

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