Roary the Racing Car is Evil

Well okay maybe the lovable little red racing car, that has his own TV show, Roary the Racing Car, isn't evil but I do suspect he's into brain washing. Subliminally teaching everyone his life lessons.

How else do you explain a fully grown adult, namely me, waking up in the morning from a dream about Roary? Before your mind begins to wander, it's nothing even remotely perverse (or maybe it is, depending on how you look at things), my dream was simply playing out like a typical episode of Roary the Racing Car.

Perhaps we should back up a bit. In your best 'Big Chris' voice say "Come on Roary!"

This all starts because I do my daily work out routine watching Judge Judy. Exercise is as boring as hell (oh dear, coarse language) so I watch TV whilst I go through my routine. At 3pm the most intelligent show on the box is, you guessed it, Judge Judy.

Her show is only 30 minutes long and my routine is an hour so at 3:30pm I need something else to watch.

Channel flipping (keeping in mind I only have four channels available on my studio TV), Huey's Cooking Adventures just doesn't cut it for me. Sorry Huey, watching you cook is like dialing for pizza that never comes. The dialing isn't the best part of a pizza. Watching someone cook isn't the best part of eating food.

Hi5 is no good either. No matter how good those five teens look (if in fact they are teens?) they still make me want to stab my eyes out with a pencil!

Then there's some New Zealand, Time Travel, Sci-Fi series, Time Trackers, featuring obnoxious teens running everything. It's badly acted, with naff special effects and manages to make Hi5 look like top notch TV. (Maybe I'm being harsh? It's just that I like time travel as basis for a TV show but, from the ten minutes I tried to watch, the kids made me want to stab my eyes out with a pencil!).

This leaves Roary the Racing car followed by several other short format kids shows, such as Maisy, Curious George, Pepper Pig and The Mr Men Show. What is the world coming to when Roary is the most intelligent thing on TV?

The trouble with Roary is his show has a catchy theme tune. Not surprising when you consider this show is from the same studio that gave us Bob the Builder ...can we fix it! Roary's theme tune may well hit the under age dance floors yet. If it hasn't already. It's been stuck in my head ever since I woke up from this dream.

If you're into dream analysis then my dream had Roary looking for some flash, bent (or maybe hook like) gold key. He was racing about everywhere looking for it... I don't know much more than that so here's a burning question I have about the show...

What is the deal with the out of control racing action on almost every episode? All the cars drive like maniacs - even for race cars. Seriously. The only time I've ever seen a formula one style race car jump three to five feet in the air during a race was when it was crashing! For all the shows moral preaching and life lessons what is it teaching the kids about driving?

"Come on Roary! Faster son and don't slow down for the bends!"

That's enough from me. Hopefully all this blogging about Roary will have exorcised him from my head. I think he is evil. If only just a little.

Book Review: Brand It Purple by Ashley Knoote-Parke

Ashley Knoote-Parke. Image: Facebook It seems almost redundant to review Brand It Purple given you probably won't find a hard copy edition without digging into the second hand market. The book's author and publisher, Ashley Knoote-Parke, seemingly, disappeared off the face of the Earth around about 2015. Which is a story in itself. However, the book is still a very informative guide and, while not specifically targeted at women, many may relate more to a book written by an experienced female entrepreneur. Brand It Purple is a personal marketing and branding guide released in 2009 by then, star on the rise author, Ashley Knoote-Parke, an English born, South African expatriate, who made Adelaide, South Australia her home. There she started her own publishing company releasing a photographic, coffee table book of South Australian sights, along with books showcasing female, then male, entrepreneurs. As well she published 'Brand It Purple'. I came across the b

How to Transfer Any Line Art to Your Griptape - Easy Skateboard Griptape Art Tutorial

Dog Star Griptape Art by TET Griptape art is once again gaining popularity amongst modern skateboarders. For those of us who have tried to create our own griptape art, using paint pens, you'll know reproducing your design onto the grip, without making any mistakes is incredibly challenging. Mostly because you just have to go for it and draw the design freehand, with paint pens, directly onto the griptape. You can make the odd mistake here or there but if you get the proportions of the design completely wrong, it can be very difficult to fix. Often you just have to live with the mistake. To address the problem I've come up with an easy way anyone can transfer a line art design to their griptape, removing almost all the anxiety of getting the proportions wrong. In fact, you could do this with any line art design, even if you have no drawing skill at all. Watch the video below to see my technique in action and/or skip past the video where I highlight the basic steps to get your de

Skateboard Trick Tips: Two Ways to Ollie North (Ollie One foot)

You have to be quick to see my Ollie Norths! Ollie One Foots, otherwise known as the Ollie North, is one of those skateboard tricks you learn and then tend not to do very much as more interesting trick challenges grab your attention. However it does look really cool if you learn how to kick your front foot well past the nose of your skateboard. Still shot from Braille Skateboarding's Ollie North tutorial. I was inspired to make my video below, showing two different techniques to achieve a successful Ollie One Foot, when I not only saw that Braille Skateboarding's Tutorial used a different method to the one I had learned but also, when I looked at various other video tutorials, I discovered yet another technique, with no one using the method I had originally learned. Braille's method is to simply Ollie and drag your front foot past the front of your board. The second method I came across in several video tutorials is to Ollie, drag your front foot and tap your

Are Ion Thrusters the Future of Flying Cars? Spoiler - Probably Not But... Hover Boards... Maybe?

Undefined Technologies Ion Propulsion Drone prototype 3D concept image. You may have heard of Ion engines or, more likely, Ion thrusters. NASA uses them on their spacecraft to help maintain a craft's position or to propel them through space. Upon hearing that you might think they're big, powerful engines, but actually they are not. They work well in the vacuum of space but, once any kind of atmosphere and gravity is involved they'd be hard pressed to launch you off the ground if you strapped four of them to your lawn chair and yelled "up, up, and away!" I am no expert on Ion thrusters - they're basically magic that science has an explanation for. If you want to know the details, The Space Techie website has a layman's explanation . Build Your Own Ion Thruster Earth based Ion Thrusters work a bit different to their space based cousins by Ionizing the same air that we breathe to create thrust (an effect known as Ionic-wind ). While they sound highly soph

I'm Joining the Illuminati Brotherhood By Personal Invitation of Hiltom Rothschild... Wait, What?

How special am I to have finally come of age (53 years young) and am now eligible to participate in building the world alongside other members of the Illuminati Brotherhood... Yes I've received the call by way of an email, which I'm sure is real because I had to translate it from the Dutch language and it was personally written by Hiltom Rothschild, one of the non-existent members of the Rothschild family (or perhaps deep undercover because Google has never heard of them?). A Transcript of the email below: To: etourist From: Illuminati Brotherhood Subject: Illuminati Broederschap (Illuminati Brotherhood) I am Hiltom Rothschild, a member of the Rothschild family, one of the 13 families of the Illuminati brotherhood. I'm here to let you know that you've come of age and are eligible to participate in building the 🌎 world. It is a calling and a privilege to honor him with pride and gratitude as not everyone will ever be chosen by the LIGHT, many are called but few are ch

The Awkward Amy Schumer Interview That Wasn't Her Fault

Amy has no idea who that guy is and Monique forgot to tell her. Last week comedian Amy Schumer participated in a very awkward interview with Mamamia , Columnist/Journalist/Senior Editor (sorry I'm not sure which job description is most appropriate) Monique Bowley . The interview went so badly that Monique simply had to just own it and write about just how badly it went , and podcast about it as well. Even better the whole interview was captured on video which you can watch below as a precursor to my thoughts on the aftermath.

Robot Uprising Update: Robot Waiter, Fasta Pasta, South Terrace, Adelaide CBD, South Australia

On the second evening of my partner, Enigma, and I's weekend stay in Adelaide we decided to have dinner at Fasta Pasta . Strangely enough our hotel staff, at the Alba, had not mentioned Fasta Pasta as an option for an evening meal while their restaurant is closed for refurbishment, even though it is literally next door on the corner of South Terrace and Pultney Street. You may be aware that Fasta Pasta is an upmarket Italian restaurant franchise with its beginnings in Adelaide. Currently they have 19 restaurants Australia wide (with the majority in South Australia - we even have one in Gawler, our home town). I've never had bad food at a Fasta Pasta, and their food never looks like a franchise meal. You always feel you're at a restaurant that's a little bit more quality than your typical hotel/motel meal. Maybe it's because you don't see as much pasta based meals on an Aussie pub menu. Despite the name, it's not all pasta. I went with a basic plate of fish a

TET.Life (The Extraordinary Tourist Life)

Search This Blog