The relatively new relationship term 'dry begging' is one I came across recently in a random article, What is 'dry begging'? Potentially Problematic Relationship Term Explained, served up to me in Microsoft Bing's mobile app. Gaining in popularity on TikTok and YouTube where the term has been analyzed to death by content psychologists because... Of course it has. It's content.
Dry begging is a new term for an age-old concept of your partner indirectly asking for something without actually asking, and even potentially manipulating you into giving them what they want. It's this aspect that has likely given rise to, what I think is, very passive aggressive terminology, identifying it as a bad or negative behaviour.
For example, say you make plans to go out and meet up with some friends for drinks, and your partner doesn't want you to go. They might sigh and say something like "I'll just stay here by myself then." in an attempt to guilt trip you into staying home and keeping them company instead.
The thing is, we've all probably done it at one point or another. Most often as a joke, mostly, but sometimes not really, but you both recognise it for what it is. Saying the thing without actually saying the thing because, being direct is not nearly as cute, humorous, or easy to say.
Does it really need to be called 'dry begging'?
Saying things indirectly is not always a negative thing the way 'dry begging' implies. Sometimes speaking indirectly can be a soft run up to speaking directly, or be the only way an issue may even get brought up at all.
Does it really need to be called anything at all for that matter. Dry begging sounds awful (vaguely sexual to be honest) and doesn't really instil visuals for what it used to be called, 'guilt tripping'. Most people know exactly what that means.
I think it's better to say what you mean to clear the air and get it out of the way, so you both know, especially in relationships. (I wish I could have taken my own advice years ago - women are more the ones that do this I think)
ReplyDeleteUltimately yes, it's better to say what you mean. I just think this new term 'dry begging' is totally unnecessary and doesn't actually describe the behaviour very well at all.
DeleteI think it sounds a bit childish really. I'm pleased I've only really myself to think about now, it would all be a bit hard now. I can please myself now without having to think about someone else. Sadly, maybe, you do get used to this when you live on your own for a long time.
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